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What is twenty metres long, ugly, and sings 'Scotland The Brave'?
The Loch Ness Songster.
What followed the Loch Ness Monster?
A whopping big tail.
What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?
Long time no sea.
What do you call a Scottish sea monster who hangs people?
The Loch Noose Monster.
What do you get if you cross a fashion designer with a sea monster?
The Loch Dress Monster.
What is large, yellow, lives in Scotland and has never been seen?
The Loch Ness Canary.
Which is the unluckiest monster in the world?
The Luck Less Monster.
Boy: Mom, why can't I swim in Loch Ness?
Mother: Because there are monsters in it.
Boy: But dad's swimming there.
Mother: That's different. He's insured.
Did you hear about the man who tried to cross the Loch Ness Monster with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.
What do you get if you cross the Loch Ness Monster with a shark?
Loch Jaws.
How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster at 20,000 fathoms?
Drop him a line.
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