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Why are monsters forgetful ?
Because everything goes in one ear and out the others !
Why did the monster knit herself three socks ?
Because she grew another foot !
What is the difference between a huge smelly monster and a sweet ?
People like sweets !
What has a purple spotted body, ten hairy legs and big eyes on stalks ?
i don't know either but there is one crawling up your leg !

What do you say when you meet a two headed monster ?
Hello hello !

What is the best way to speak to a monster ?
From a long way away !
What is big, red and prickly, has three eyes and eats rocks ?
A big, red, prickly three eyed rock eater !
Mrs monster to Mr Monster "Try to be nice to my mother when she visits this weekend dear "
"Fall down when she hits you"!
Mr Monster "Oi, hurry up with my supper"
Mrs Monster "Oh do be quiet - I've only got three pairs of hands" !
Why did the monster walk over the hill ?
Because it was too much bother to walk under it !
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