Teacher: Can anyone
tell me how many seconds there are in a year ?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
Teacher: This is the
third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !
Teacher: Didn't you
hear me call you ?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back !
Teacher: Why can't you
ever answer any of my questions ?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me
being here !
Teacher: What came after
the stone age and the bronze age ?
Pupil: The sausage !
I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !
Teacher: You new here
aren't you, what's your name ?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith Teacher: I'll call
you Fred Smith then.
Pupil: My dad won't like that. Teacher: Why is that
Pupil: He doesn't like people taking the Mickey out of my
Why did the teacher
wear sunglasses ?
Because his class was so bright !
Did you hear about the
cross eyed teacher ?
He couldn't control his pupils !
Teacher: What family
does the octopus belong to ?
Pupil: Nobody I know !