|Why do golfers carry a spare sock ?
Because they might get a hole in one !
|What book do you buy to teach children how to fight ?
A scrap book !
|What sort of animals make the best TV presenters ?
Gnus - readers !
|What sort of animal is best at getting up in the morning ?
A Llama clock !
|I hear you have just invented gunpowder ?
Yes, I was using some candles to light my laboratory and it came to me in a flash !
|How is your other invention coming along - you know, the matches ?
Oh, they've been a striking success !
|Why did the doctor take his nose to pieces ?
He wanted to see what made it run !
|Why is it dangerous to tell jokes to Humpty Dumpty ?
He might crack up !
|Why do pens get sent to prison ?
To do long sentences !
|What was the parrot doing in prison ?
It was a jail-bird !