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What do vampire footballers have at halftime?
Blood oranges.
What do vampires like that are red and very silly?
Blood clots.
How does Dracula like to have his food served?
In bite-sized pieces.
What do vampires make sandwiches out of?
Self-raising dead.
Why did the vampire take up acting?
It was in his blood.
What is Count Dracula's least favorite song?
Vampires Burning, Vampires Burning.
What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire?
It bit his neck, sucked his blood and said, "Who's a pretty boy then?"
Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?
He wanted something to get his teeth into.
What happened to the lovesick vampire?
He became a neck-romancer.
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
I don't know but it would slow him down.
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