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What kind of monster has the best hearing ?
The eeriest !
How you can tell if you have had a monster in your fridge ?
It leaves footprints in the butter !
Did you hear about the stupid monster you hurt himself raking up leaves ?
He went terribly moody because he couldn't see eye to eye with himself !
Monster: Where do fleas go in winter ?
Werewolf: Search me !
1st Monster: Every time we meet you remind me of a famous film star?
2nd Monster:"Meryl Streep", "Madonna", "Raquel Welch" ?
1st Monster: No, ET !
Why are monsters covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a monster !
Monster:"I'm so ugly"
Ghost:"It's not so bad"
Monster:"When my grandfather was born they handed round cigars, when my father was born they passed round cigarettes, but when I was born they just passed out !"
Why are monsters green ?
Because they didn't take their travel sickness pills !
Why do monsters wear glasses ?
So they don't bump into other monsters !
Boris the monster knocked on a witches door and asked for something to eat. "You look familiar" said the witch "Didn't I give you some bat's blood soup last week"
"Yes" said the monster, "But I'm better now !"
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