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What do you do with a blue monster?
Try and cheer him up.
What is big, hairy and bounces up and down?
A monster on a pogo stick.

How do you stop a monster from smelling?
Cut off his nose.

What do you do with a green monster?
Wait until it ripens!
Where do you find monster snails?
On the end of monsters fingers.
What is the monsters' favourite football team?
Slitherpool.
Why are monsters' fingers never more than eleven inches long?
Because if they were twelve inches they'd be a foot.
What is the best thing to do if a monster breaks down your front door?
Run out of the back door.
Did you hear about Romeo Monster meeting Juliet Monster?
It was love at first fright.
Why are monsters so forgetful?
Because everything you tell them goes in one ear and out the others.
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