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'Dad, Dad, come quickly! Mother's fighting a horrible twelve-foot monster with two heads and three arms!'
'Don't worry about it, son. I'm sure the monster can look after itself.'
What do sea monsters have for dinner?
Fish and ships.
An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop.
'Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant. 'Hide the "Free Alterations" sign!'
Monster graffiti: SAY IT WITH FLOWERS - GIVE HER A TRIFFID.
What is big and hairy and hangs on the line?
A drip-dry monster.
What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'?
A monster in a traffic jam.
How do monsters like their shepherd's pie?
Made with real shepherds.
What is a monster's favourite society?
The Consumers' Association.
How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye?
When it comes out in conversation.
Do you know the story about the body-snatchers?
Well, I won't tell you. You might get carried away.
Back a page Monster Jokes Forward a page
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