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How do monsters tell the future?
With horrorscopes:
TEACHER: What would you do if you saw a big monster?
PUPIL: Hope it didn't see me!
SISTER: What shall I do? My teacher says I've got to write an essay on a monster.
BROTHER: Well first, you're going to need a very big ladder . . .
MONSTER: Did you ever see anyone like me before?
HUMAN GIRL: Yes, once. But I had to pay admission.
Did you hear about the monster who fell into a barrel of beer?
He came to a bitter end.
What is a monster after it is one year old?
A two-year-old monster.
How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?
Smack a monster.
What do you get if you cross a monster with a boy scout?
A monster that scares old ladies across the street.
What is the best way to see a monster?
On television.
FIRST MONSTER: I'm going to a party tonight.
SECOND MONSTER: Oh, are you?
FIRST MONSTER: Yes, I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends.
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