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Why was the big, hairy, two-headed monster top of the class at school?
Because two heads are better than one.
What did the big, hairy monster do when he lost a hand?
He went to the secondhand shop.
What happened when a purple-headed monster took up singing?
He had a frog in his throat.
Why did the fat, hairy, drooling monster stop going out in the sunshine?
He didn't want to spoil his looks.

Why did the monster dye his hair yellow?
He wanted to see if blondes have more fun.

Why are monsters big and hairy?
So that you can tel I them apart from gooseberries.
Why do monsters have lots of matted fur?
Because they'd look silly in plastic macs.
What do you get if you cross a tall, green monster with a fountain pen?
The Ink-credible Hulk.
What do you get if you cross a plum with a man-eating monster?
A purple people-eater.
Why did the big hairy, monster give up boxing?
Because he didn't want to spoil his looks.
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