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Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home.'
Ghost: Why don't you take a train?
Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
Did you hear about the monster who went to a holiday camp?
He won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and he wasn't even entered.
Why are monsters' fingers never more than 11 inches long?
Because if they were 12 inches, they would be a foot.
What time is it when a monster sits on your car?
Time to get a new car.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?
Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
A monster walked into the council rent office with a $5 note stuck in one ear and a $10 note in the other.
You see, he was $15 in arrears.
Did the bionic monster have a brother?
No, but he had lots of trans-sisters.
Did you hear about the monster who was known as Captain Kirk?
He had a left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
Did you hear about the monster burglar who fell in the cement mixer?
Now he's a hardened criminal.
Why did the monster have to buy two tickets for the zoo?
One to get in and one to get out.
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