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Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver.
Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way.
What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster?
Sir.
What is the best way to speak to a monster?
From a long distance.
What does a polite monster say when he meets you for the first time?
Pleased to eat you!
Why did the monster-breeder call his monster Fog?
Because he was grey and thick.
How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?
If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!
Why didn't the monster use toothpaste?
Because he said his teeth weren't loose.
How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?
Take his spade away.
Why did the two cyclops flight?
They could never see eye to eye over anything.
What happened when two huge monsters ran in a race?
One ran in short bursts, the other ran in burst shorts.
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