What is the cheapest time to call your friends long distance?
When they're not home!
When doesn't a telephone work underwater?
When it's wringing wet!
Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend's line has been busy
for an hour?
Operator: No, but if you hum a few bars, I might be able to sing along with you.
What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
Who was that on the phone?
Oh, just a woman saying it was long distance from China. But I told her I already
Can you telephone from the space shuttle?
Of course I can tell a phone from the space shuttle! The phone's the one with
the long cord!
What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending
to be somebody else?
A big phone-y!
What are you doing?
I'm trying to call Washington! Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!
Fred's phone rang in the middle of the night.
"Hello?" he said. "Hello," said a voice. "Is this Tommy?"
"No," said Fred. "You must have the wrong number." "Oh, sorry," said the caller. "I hope I didn't wake you."
"Oh, that's okay," said Fred. "I had to get up anyway, to answer
How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
You get a buzzy signal.