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Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
To keep their pants up.
Why do people always say to you, "A penny for your thoughts?"
Because that's all they are worth.
Why do postmen carry letters?
Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.
Why do we buy clothes?
Because we can't get them free.
Why does a mother carry her baby?
The baby can't carry the mother.
Why does a pencil seem heavy when you write with it for a long time?
Because it is full of lead.
Why is a fish like a person who talks too much?
Because it doesn't know when to keep its mouth shut.
Why is a toupee like a secret?
Because you keep it under your hat.
Why is an engaged girl like a telephone?
Because they both have rings.
Why shouldn't you put grease on your hair the night before a test?
If you did, everything might slip your mind.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret to a pig?
Because he is a squealer.
Why should you leave your watch home when you take an aeroplane?
Because time flies anyway.
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