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Where can you always find diamonds?
In a deck of cards.
Where can you find cards on a ship?
On the deck.
Where do taxis go when you trade them in?
To the old cabbage (cab age) home.
Where does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
Who invented the telephone?
The Phoenicians (phone-itions).
Who takes longer to get ready for a trip-an elephant or a rooster?
The elephant. He has to pack a trunk while the rooster only takes his comb.
Why are Boy Scouts chubby?
Because scouting rounds a guy out.
Why are men going bald at an older age these days?
Because they're wearing their hair longer.
Why are we sure that Indians were the first people in North America?
Because they had reservations.
Why can you always believe a ruler?
Because it is on the level.
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