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Did you hear the story about the germ?
Never mind. I don't want it spread all over.
How can you keep from getting a sharp pain in your eye when you drink chocolate milk?
Take the spoon out of the glass.
How can you tell if a bucket is not well?
When it is a little pale (pail).
How can you tell if a mummy has a cold?
He starts coffin.
How can you tell if you are cross-eyed?
When you see eye-to-eye with yourself.
How did the bread feel when it was put in the toaster?
It was burned up.
How did the clock feel when no one wound it up?
Run down.
How did the kid get a flat nose?
His teacher told him to keep it to the grindstone.
How did the skeleton know it was raining?
He could feel it in his bones.
How do you know that army sergeants have a lot of headaches?
Because they always yell, "Tension!"
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