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What part of a football pitch smells nicest ?
The scenter spot !
Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space ?
Because there is no atmosphere !
What's the chilliest ground in the premiership ?
Cold Trafford !
How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle ?
Somebody took a corner !
Which England player keeps up the fuel supply ?
Paul gas coin !
What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas ?
Ince pies !
What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?
Both do hat tricks !
Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar ?
All of them, a crossbar can't jump !
Why are football players never asked for dinner ?
Because they're always dribbling !
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear ?
Because he liked sole music !
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