So You’ve Been Ghosted: Here’s What To Do
No one likes rejection, and being ghosted with no warning is often painful and confusing. It is completely understandable why someone who has been ghosted would want to know why. Too often, people tend to blame themselves in situations like this. People who have been ghosted sometimes respond with anger and frustration. While these are normal emotions under the circumstances, it’s important to avoid acting impulsively in the aftermath of being ghosted. Here’s what you should do:
Step Away From the Screen
Even a short break from electronic communication puts being ghosted in greater perspective. Go for a walk, or go out for coffee while leaving your device behind. This helps prevent you from giving in to the impulse to lash out at the person who ghosted you and lets you take a fresh look at the situation. Keep in mind that as many as 25% of all people who use dating apps are ghosted at some point.
Don’t Pursue the Connection
After you’ve calmed down from an initial ghosting, you may be tempted to contact the person and calmly ask what happened. Most of the time, this is a mistake. The main reason people ghost is to avoid confrontation. Unfortunately, electronic communications make that an easy and convenient option. Nonetheless, you should listen if the person reaches out to you with an explanation. Perhaps a family emergency or other unexpected circumstance was the cause of the abrupt cessation of communication. In this case, you have not actually been ghosted.
Consider Yourself Lucky
One of the main reasons people ghost is that they lack the emotional maturity to have an adult conversation. They may also have a mental health condition, such as narcissistic personality disorder, that causes them to lack empathy for others. After the initial sting of rejection wears off, you’ll probably be happy that the person ghosted you so that you can move on to better choices.
How to Prevent Being Ghosted
If you find yourself being ghosted time and time again, it may be time for a good look in the mirror. It could be as simple as connecting with the wrong people. On the other hand, you could be putting unknowingly something out there that’s making people think twice about becoming involved with you. This may occur more frequently with those who are new to dating apps and to dating in general.
To minimize being ghosted on dating apps, don’t be pushy or overly needy. Keep communications short and sweet — after all, the whole point of these apps is for two people to decide if they want to meet in person. Avoid sensitive topics and be appropriate, respectful, and prepared to move on if it doesn’t work out.