In the early 1960s, around 90 percent of people were married by the time they turned 30. Each year, that number decreases as people know that love and marriage are lifelong commitments that you don’t want to rush into. Because of this, people are learning a lot about love during their 20s, and there are certain things to know by the time you reach 30 years of age. Here are the five most important things to keep in mind, which should also help to put you at ease.
Being compatible isn’t the same as being in love
This is a hard truth that often gets overlooked. You may not even realize it’s happening. When you were younger, a large portion of your relationship criteria probably included wanting someone you have tons in common with, who likes all the same things, and who matches your energy. Those are all great qualities to search for and you could very well find what you’re looking for. On the other hand, even if you find someone you are highly compatible with, don’t be fooled, or force yourself to feel romantic love where there is none. Learning the difference between compatibility and romantic love really changes how you view the dating scene.
You can’t hurry love
As much as we would like love, marriage, kids, and a white picket fence to fall into our laps, while we’re young, life doesn’t always go as planned. It should go without saying, having your love life completely figured out before your thirties isn’t an accomplishment. Of course, it’s beautiful and should be celebrated. No, it’s not a race and you shouldn’t feel insignificant if it takes time to find love and settle down.
More than meets the eye
As you age, if you’ve been paying attention the entire time, you’ll grow wiser. With that wisdom comes a very important lesson. We recognize that there is so much more to people than what we see on the surface. The material items, finances, and achievements of our potential partners become less valuable. Instead, we focus on core values and the depths of their personality. It’s not to say what’s on the surface no longer matters, or that it’s wrong to want a stable partner with ambition. We simply learn to value a person from within before judging what’s on the surface.
Your priorities and standards shift
Odds are your priorities have shifted pretty dramatically from the ones you had in early adulthood. That shift affects our relationship qualifications as well. What you once sought out and yearned for in a relationship is likely vastly different now and that’s okay. With age comes experience and growth. What we hold dear and important changes as we go through life. Unfortunately, it can cause a rift in relationships we’ve already settled into. On the plus side, it can ease the stress of being patient for love.
You think about the long-term
Once you reach your thirties, you adjust to your shift in priorities and have a much clearer picture of what it is you want for your future and what kind of person you want to spend it with. You begin thinking about relationships long-term and settling down with your forever partner. Naturally, this can make you much more selective and cautious when seeking out your potential partner.