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Category: Self Improvement

3 Questions To Check In With Yourself

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Checking in with yourself throughout the day is a great way to stay mindful, grateful, and well. 

One great question to ask yourself when you first wake up is, "What do I hope to accomplish today?" This question serves you throughout the entire day: 

  • it helps you set micro goals for health and well-being
  • it motivates you to do the things that move you toward your goals
  • it directs your thoughts toward the positive

When answering this question, it’s important to remember that goals that are too lofty can do more harm than good. Instead of planning to earn a Bachelor’s degree, for example, you might set a micro goal or reviewing the prerequisites.

Great examples of micro goals include: 

  • I will spend 15 minutes on my home or room today.
  • I will spend 5 minutes in prayer or reflection today. 
  • I will tell someone I appreciate them today. 

The second question to ask yourself every day is, "How am I feeling today?" Learning to identify and name your feelings has a butterfly effect in other facets of your life. 

When you know how you feel, you can take steps to better understand those feelings and cope in a healthy way. As a direct outcome, your behavior is less likely to reflect difficult feelings. That means your feelings are less likely to lead to negative behaviors that may have undesirable consequences. 

Finally, as you learn to recognize your own feelings, what causes them, and what helps, you begin to better understand those around you. Connecting with others becomes easier and easier. 

Finally, as the day comes to a close, ask yourself, "What went well today?"

It’s common to crawl into bed at the end of the day and replay all the moments that didn’t go as well as you had hoped. The result of this negative thought process at the end of the day is often difficulty sleeping, anxiety, remorse, and feelings of worthlessness. 

Asking what went well instead gives you an opportunity to reflect on your strengths. Which moments are you most proud of? Which habits would you like to repeat again tomorrow? Which decisions will support your larger goals? Which moments were the most fulfilling? Which of your micro goals did you achieve today?

Checking in with yourself throughout the day helps you stay focused on your goals and intentions. 

It helps you recognize and cope with difficult feelings in a productive way. 

And it helps you celebrate your wins and make habits out of them. 

So, to transform your life with three simple questions, ask yourself: 

  • What would I like to accomplish today?
  • How am I feeling?
  • And what went well today?

5 Habits to Improve Your Calm and Reduce Your Stress

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Stress.

If you’re like many others, you’re probably feeling stressed out right now. Most of us are tired, overworked, and over-committed. Unfortunately, stress can take a terrible toll on your physical and mental well-being. For example, it can lead to depression or an increased risk for heart disease. 

And that is why it is so important to reduce your stress levels. The following are 5 habits that can help you bring calm back into your life and also reduce your stress levels. 

Number one, practice mindfulness.

When you’re feeling stressed, it’s important to practice mindfulness. That means you should stop worrying about any future events and issues that you have no control over. It’s also important to let go of your past regrets. Stressing out over things that occurred in your past will not change what happened.

Instead, be mindful. That means focusing on and living in the present. You can start by taking a few moments each day to think about and be thankful for the good things in your life. 

Number two, make sure to exercise on a regular basis. 

Why? Well, for one thing, a good workout will release endorphins into your system. These hormones can trigger a positive feeling in your body that is often referred to as a runner’s high. Exercising can also improve your overall physical health. 

Another plus? Exercising can tire you out, which will hopefully lead to a better night’s rest. That takes us to our third stress-busting habit. 

Number three, get enough sleep. 

Your body needs sleep to recover both physically and mentally each day. When you don’t get enough sleep, your body may feel as if it’s in distress. This could cause a stress hormone called cortisol to be released into your system. Cortisol is also known as the fight or flight hormone. And too much of it can cause your body to feel like it’s under constant stress.

On the other hand, getting enough sleep can actually decrease your cortisol levels significantly. 

Number four. Minimize your time on social media. 

Research has shown that spending too much time on social media can stress you out for several reasons. You might, for example, feel depressed by seeing pictures of people who seem to have everything that you want. Or you might read a comment that upsets you.

Unfortunately, it’s very easy to let the virtual world negatively affect your reality. So if you find yourself feeling sad or anxious after being on social media, it’s time to put a limit on your screen time.

And finally, number five — prioritize yourself.

You are important. Don’t let other people hijack your life.

Sometimes that means saying no to an invitation. Or it might mean scheduling time in your calendar for self-care. That can mean anything from reading a book to getting a massage. 

Making yourself a priority might sound selfish, but it’s not. Because in the long run, when you take care of yourself, you’ll have more energy and love for others. And that is truly a win-win for everyone. 

 

 

Top 5 Mistakes In Self-Care

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Self-care is a term we often hear these days. But what does it really mean? And how do we do it properly? 

First, let’s define what self-care is. Basically, self-care is any action you take to support your long-term development. Self-care contributes to your mental, emotional and physical health. With proper and regular self-care, you feel nourished and grow as a person over time.

Self-care is different from self-soothing. Self-soothing describes temporary fixes like smoking or drinking after a stressful meeting. While self-soothing actions are helpful, they do not relax, calm or support us over time.  

Let’s explore the top five self-care mistakes people make and the beneficial ways we can practice self-care. 

Mistake Number One: Self-care is monotonous and routine.

A daily routine can offer predictable comfort and stability. That’s why we may drive the same route to work and order the same meal every day. 

We miss out on new growth and self-sabotage ourselves, though, when we practice a monotonous self-care routine. Instead, give yourself permission to try new things, and be flexible based on the situation. For example, you may decide to skip your regular spa appointment to hang out with a friend. 

Mistake Number Two: Self-care requires expensive treats.

Sure, self-care can involve spending money. You may schedule regular pedicures to boost your confidence or buy books to stretch your mind. 

But you can also participate in free self-care activities. Practices like daily stretching, regular dental checkups and early bedtimes nurture your whole being. Try different activities as you select the self-care actions that nurture you and support your budget.

Mistake Number Three: Self-care is all about outward actions.

Self-care indeed includes actions. For example, we eat salads to nourish our physical health and play with our pets to relieve stress. 

However, inward thoughts, self-talk and self-compassion are also vital to self-care. That’s why it’s important to practice reflection, journaling and meditation. Use these inward practices to notice behavior patterns like perfectionism or rumination. Then, you can make positive changes. 

Mistake Number Four: Self-care puts your needs ahead of others.

In our quest for self-care, we may neglect, inconvenience or become demanding towards co-workers, friends or family members. Self-care may include setting boundaries, but it also values others and ourselves. 

Take note of how you treat people as you perform self-care. If you consistently push responsibilities on others, avoid relationships or cancel plans, rethink your self-care practices. 

Mistake Number Five: Self-care is solitary.

It’s common to isolate yourself when you feel tired, sick or sad. In fact, recharging in solitude can renew your patience, ignite your creativity and enhance your mood. 

Be sure to socialize, though, too. Human connection brings comfort, boosts energy, develops resilience, relieves pain, and broadens perspective. So, prioritize one-on-one or group social outings like coffee dates, hobby club meetings and game time or play.

Self-care supports your growth and development. Learn from these five mistakes as you practice self-care the right way.

How to lose weight healthily

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The weight loss industry includes fad diets, programs and scams that make big promises. These options typically don’t work long-term, though, and could be harmful to your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Thankfully, you can lose weight and keep it off in healthy ways.  

1. Set realistic goals. 

Experts recommend losing one to two pounds per week. So a goal of losing 10 pounds before this weekend is unrealistic and could lead you to crash diet or take laxatives, which is super unhealthy. 

Support your health, wellness and success with realistic outcome and process goals. Process goals change your habits over time and support your desired outcome goal. For example, to meet your outcome goals of losing 5% of your body weight or walking up the stairs with ease, implement the process goals of eating a protein-packed breakfast and walking 20 minutes each day.

2. Plan and track your meals. 

Food tracking offers accountability that empowers you to make smarter and healthier choices. Use the tracker to plan your weekly menu of meals and snacks. Then record everything you eat. Review the data to analyze and tweak your eating habits. 

3. Eat a rainbow of whole foods.

Processed foods contain preservatives, additives and other junk ingredients. For ultimate health, fill your plate with whole foods in a rainbow of colors. Enjoy a variety of flavors, textures and aromas while satisfying your taste buds and protecting your health. 

4. Drink more water. 

Water hydrates your body and equips it to work properly. Adequate hydration can also curb your appetite. Alternatively, sugary beverages contain empty calories. So, drink more water. Reach for sparking varieties if you need bubbles, and add fruit, cucumber or mint to enhance the flavor. 

5. Add movement to your day. 

Physical activity burns calories and strengthens your body and mind. For weight loss, aim for 30 minutes of moderate to steady aerobic exercise each day. Also, incorporate simple body-weight exercises like squats, push-ups and pelvic tilts that boost your metabolism. To stay motivated and have fun, choose exercises you enjoy like dancing, hiking or skating.   

6. Enhance your lifestyle. 

You’re more likely to stick to a healthy eating and movement plan if it’s fun and fits into your lifestyle. For example, take walks with your family and tweak family meal recipes to include healthy ingredients rather than cooking two entrees. 

7. Implement baby steps. 

Drastic changes like dropping sweets cold turkey may send your body and emotions into panic mode. Instead, be gentle with yourself and take small steps. For instance, walk 500 more steps each day this week or eat one less dessert. Build on these baby steps until you transform your lifestyle with healthy changes. 

8. Talk to your doctor.

Everyone’s body, health and goals are different. Before you try to lose weight, talk to your doctor. This step is crucial if you have an ongoing medical condition.

Healthy habits create successful weight loss. Take action to lose weight healthily and support your well-being.

10 Self-Care Activities You Can Do Right Now

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How long has it been since you’ve taken some time out for yourself? Good thing you’ve stumbled across this video! We’ve pulled together simple self-care activities you can do right now that won’t interrupt your busy day at all. In fact, if you have just a few short minutes, we’ll show you 10 ways you can take care of yourself now or at any time. 

1. Take some deep breaths 

As simple as it sounds, just taking a minute to take a few deep breaths delivers all kinds of benefits to the mind and body. Deep breathing negates stress, helps the body relax, reduces muscular tension and blood pressure, and more. 

2. Get up and get moving

Did you know that just 10 minutes of exercise pumps up your endorphins? If you’ve been couch-surfing, stuck at the desk, or otherwise immobile, get up and move around for a few minutes. You’ll get your blood circulating and those feel-good endorphins flowing. 

3. Say a few positive things to yourself 

Muting negative self-talk is a powerful way to improve your mood. If you’ve got a few minutes to yourself, overshadow the usual negative self-talk with some positive affirmations. 

4. Hydrate 

Water intake is good for everything from your gut to your brain function. If you’ve been so busy that you’ve overlooked hydrating, grab a bottle of water and replenish that H2O. Your body and mind will thank you for it.

5. Listen to a good audiobook 

Turn off your thoughts, close your eyes, and slip in your earbuds. Audiobooks are a great way to take a breather from any current stress you are facing. 

6. Write down three things you’re grateful for in life

Did you know that practicing gratitude is a good way to nourish a positive mindset? Grab a notebook and jot down three things you are grateful for in your life right now. 

7. Dress up a bit 

Never underestimate the power of applying your favorite lipstick, donning a crisp button-up and tie, or slipping into your favorite shoes. When you look good, you also feel good. 

8. Get silly and have some fun 

It may come as a surprise, but acting a little childlike and silly actually boosts serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. Basically, anything that could be described as being playful can work, whether it is doing a silly dance, making little jokes, or playing a quick game of hide-and-seek. 

9. Eat a high-protein snack 

Hard-boiled eggs, nut butters, Greek yogurt, and even some veggies deliver a hefty dose of protein. Grab yourself a high-protein snack to give your energy levels a boost, satiate hunger, and keep you going. 

10. Turn up your favorite tunes 

Music therapy is actually a thing. Listening to your favorite songs may even lift self-esteem and deter depression or anxiety. 

So, you see, you can practice self-care even if all you have are a few free minutes. Ready to take better care of you?

How To Improve Your Reflexes

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Reflexes are the transmission of a neural impulse from the brain in response to stimuli, resulting in a muscular contraction. This process typically takes at least ¼ second, but the reaction time from the perception of stimuli to the transmission of an impulse varies greatly between individuals. Activities that can improve your reflexes may be classified into mental exercises, physical exercises and self-care.

Mental Exercises

Studies show that playing video games can improve your reflexes, since they typically require you to quickly transition from thought to action. First-person shooters are usually the best choice for this purpose, since they require the most eye-hand coordination. Some role-playing games are also good for improving reflexes.

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), a type of hypnosis, can help some people increase their awareness of an object. This state of mind creates the perception of time slowing down, thus reducing reaction time. Athletes often use NLP to improve their performance.

Mindfulness attempts to achieve a similar state of mind as NLP except it doesn’t focus on a particular object. Instead, mindfulness increases your awareness of everything happening around you at each moment. Increasing your situational awareness can help you respond more quickly to stimuli.

Physical Exercises

Physical exercises like bouncing and catching a reaction ball are often effective at improving your reflexes. These “balls” have irregular shapes that cause them to bounce in unpredictable ways and are available at most sporting goods stores. Tossing a reaction ball on a hard surface and trying to catch it is a great way to improve your reflexes because it requires you to focus on it more than trying to catch an ordinary ball.

Jacks is a children’s game that uses a small rubber ball and 12 metal pieces called jacks to develop eye-hand coordination. The player bounces the ball on the floor, picks up jacks and catches the ball with the same hand before it reaches the floor. You can make the game as challenging as you want by picking up more jacks and spreading them out more.

Self-Care

The right diet can help keep you feeling alert, which is essential for quick reflexes. Foods that are high in simple sugar can give you a quick burst of energy, but you’ll feel sluggish after your body converts the sugar into energy. Complex carbohydrates provide a more even energy supply over a longer period, as opposed to the energy spikes of simple sugar. Additional foods that can improve cognitive function include fish, nuts and leafy green vegetables. Proper hydration is also a key dietary requirement for maintaining the alertness needed for fast reflexes.

Adequate sleep is essential for keeping your reflexes as sharp as possible. It’s particularly important to complete at least four sleep cycles between deep sleep and rapid eye movement (REM), which requires a minimum of seven hours. Athletes often schedule a nap of a few hours before an event.

How to Avoid Treating Yourself as an Object – and Why This Is So Important

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Do you objectify yourself? Most people would automatically say no. Nevertheless, treating yourself as an object instead of a person is easy to do if you’re not paying attention. If you treat yourself as an object, you live your life with the idea that something about your physical appearance is your means of obtaining something or achieving a goal. For example, you are attractive, and this is your means of maintaining a romantic relationship. The problem with self-objectification is if you fail to achieve, this can lead to self-loathing, shame, and self-deprecation. So, how do you avoid treating yourself as an object? Below are five good tips. 

1. Recognize your worth beyond what you look like

If you are only ever acknowledging the value of your physical appearance, it is easy to forget to appreciate everything else you bring to the table. Think about the skills you carry and why people should value you. Maybe you’re highly compassionate, a hard worker, or goal-oriented and driven to achieve. These things will still exist no matter your outward appearance. 

2. Respect yourself as a complex human being 

Humans are complicated in every respect. We have emotions, joys, frustrations, nuances, and unique personalities. When you objectify yourself, the complexities that make you human often get viewed as inconveniences. Maybe you don’t usually show emotion for fear it makes you less attractive, or, perhaps you’re hesitant about getting silly because you think it makes you look less distinguished. The more you can allow yourself to be authentic in your own skin without fear of changing physical perceptions, the better off you will be. 

3. Refuse to let others treat you as an object 

If others are treating you as only a means to an end, or an object that delivers only what they want, you can slip into the role of the same mindset. For example, if someone only wants to hang out with you because you are attractive, this is pure objectification. Remove people from your life that only look at you as someone who can do something or be something that benefits them. 

4. Dial down on the self-criticism 

We are all our own worst critics. If you are treating yourself as an object, you are likely criticizing yourself over things that you truly can’t control. For instance, if you gain a few pounds and can’t wear your fave jeans, you can be really hard on yourself to a point that you feel a lot of shame and guilt. When you recognize the link between objectification and self-criticism, you may be able to dial back negative self-talk that you truly don’t deserve. 

5. Allow yourself to feel unattractive 

Some people spend so much time and energy keeping up appearances that being in any other state feels uncomfortable. Do what you can to change this tendency. Try running errands without full makeup or visiting a friend in your gym clothes instead of a suit and tie. Gaining a bit of comfort in your own skin without physical enhancement can help you find appreciation for who you are instead of what you look like. You will start to see that people can treat you well even when your outward look is not where you think it should be. 

How To Hack Your Subconscious Mind To Improve Your Life

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Your mind dictates your happiness levels and how you see the world. In a rut? Want to change? Luckily, this is possible because the brain is very flexible. With the right strategies, you can easily hack your subconscious mind and improve your life. Check out these five ideas.

1. Meditation
Meditation isn’t hard. You just lie there and let your mind go. If your mind tends to wander, you can pop on a guided meditation video or use a mediation app.

Clearing your mind offers a lot of benefits. In the moment, it’s relaxing, but the effects last much longer than the few minutes you devote to this practice. Regular meditation reduces stress and anxiety. It helps your concentration. It also makes you a kinder and more compassionate person.

2. Gratitude
The practice of gratitude can also reshape your brain. Start every day by writing down or saying three things that you’re grateful for. If you’re getting stuck on the same item, try to be more specific. For instance, if your dog is the first thing that jumps to mind every day, just get a little more granular. Note that your are grateful for the feel of their fur, the way they greet you after work, or how happy they are when they see a squirrel.

Over time, this practice will effectively create new patterns in your brain. You might start to think,”Ugh, I don’t want to do the laundry or cook dinner.” But, then your subconscious will go, “But I sure am grateful for my wardrobe or the fridge full of food.” Over time, your brain may even stop the complaints and jump straight to gratitude. This will change your life.

3. Positive affirmations
Your brain develops grooves between your neurons, and the easiest thoughts are the ones that are well grooved into your brain. But here’s the good news — you can make new grooves in your brain.

Often, people train their brains to think negative thoughts about themselves. Their brains may be accustomed to thinking, I’m not good enough, I’m not pretty enough, or I can’t do x. Positive affirmations can help you get beyond these destructive thoughts. Choose a perception that you want to change about yourself and repeat it every day.

This can be a very simple affirmation such as “I am a good person.” Or it can be a more pointed thought such as “I am motivated to work hard.” Just by saying and feeling this thought every day, you will create a new pattern in your brain. Affirmations also help people to eat better and exercise more.

4. Hypnosis 

Hypnosis can affect your brain in very powerful ways. It can help you lose weight, quit smoking, or make other positive changes in your life. Contrary to popular belief, hypnosis cannot make you do something that you don’t want to do. Hypnosis is a form of guided meditation that can change how your brain processes information.

For instance, if you want to quit smoking and are having trouble on your own, hypnosis can alter how your brain thinks of smoking. It can help you see yourself as a non-smoker, and once you truly believe that, you’ve kicked the habit.

5. Exercise
Your brain doesn’t exist on its own. It’s part of your body, and if you want to hack your subconscious, you need to think about yourself as a holistic person with an interconnected brain and body.

Exercise can help your brain in many ways. It can help you learn and think more effectively. This is true for people of all ages. You can’t just sit and learn. You need to punctuate your day with physical activity. Staying active can also help to reduce stress and anxiety.

5 Ways a Gratitude Journal Can Change Your Brain

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You’ve heard about the benefits of journaling. But with a gratitude journal, you don’t have to write volumes about your life or even reflect on your day. Instead, you just need to write down three things you’re grateful for every day. It’s simple, and the brain benefits can be stunning. Look at the ways gratitude can change your brain:

1. Boost in happiness hormones

When you practice gratitude, it invigorates the reward pathways in your brain. This boosts the serotonin and dopamine levels in your brain. These are the happiness chemicals that people chase when they’re doing drugs or engaging in a lot of risky behavior. But when you generate them naturally through a practice of gratitude, you can get an unlimited amount. Gratitude breeds happiness, which breeds more gratitude, which breeds more happiness, and the cycle is really endless.

2. Shift to positivity
Are you locked in negative patterns of thinking? Well, gratitude can reverse that. When you think the same type of thoughts over and over, they basically create paths between your brain’s neurons. It’s easier for your thoughts to run over these well worn paths than to take new routes.

But when you keep a gratitude journal, you practice having positive thoughts. You start to carve out new paths in your brain. Over time, it becomes easier and more natural to have positive thoughts.

3. Long-term brain effects.
Researchers at Berkely had subjects complete a range of gratitude-based tasks. Then, they measured brain activity a few months later. Both subjects who had written gratitude letters and those who donated to charity out of gratitude had more activity in their medial prefrontal cortex three months after the exercise. This is the part of the brain that helps with making decisions and learning.

4. Increased kindness
There’s actually a part of your brain that wants to make you kinder and more giving to other people. Research indicates that when you write about things that make you feel grateful, you activate this part of your brain. You start to exhibit pure altruism.

5. Help with grief and anxiety
Because of the ways gratitude changes the brain, it helps to release toxic emotions. It allows you to see the positive side of life, even when you are fully acknowledging that many things are truly sad. By extension, gratitude journals can be very helpful for people who struggle with anxiety or are experiencing grief.

Beyond the benefits above, gratitude can help you sleep better, reduce pain, and feel more joy. To get started, just write down three things you’re grateful for. They can be big, small, or in between. You might be grateful for the ocean or a diamond ring. The things you’re grateful for can be emotional and meaningful, but you can also just be grateful for your favorite lipstick color.

A gratitude journal isn’t complicated. You just write down three things you love. If you get stuck on the same thing, just note different aspects of it. Like if you’re grateful for your best friend, write down details about her that you love. Over time, you’ll be shocked at how this simple practice changes your brain and your life.

10 Popular Pick-Up Lines You Probably Shouldn’t Actually Try In Real Life

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Pick-up lines can be stupid, funny, and occasionally effective. Where the 2020s require greater authenticity, we often think of the 80s and 90s when remembering the hilarity of using pick-up lines. Anyone that ever watched Friends or Seinfeld remembers some epically funny pick-up lines.

Here’s a classic. George from Seinfeld goes up to a woman at the diner and says, “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice you looked in my direction.” The woman says, “Yes, I was looking at your food. You ordered the exact same thing as me.” George thinks for a second and replies, “My name is George, I’m unemployed, and I live with my parents.”

So there are many pick-up lines that might be just as bad, and you probably shouldn’t try them. In that Seinfeld episode, George is successful, making it hilarious, but don’t expect any of these next ten to go well.

Is your name Google? Because you have everything I have been searching for.

OK, it’s a little nerdy and certainly bold, but it makes you cringe, right? There is a slight chance it’d work for online dating instead of the totally horrific “Hi,” but it’s still a very slight chance. 

I’ve lost the loving feeling. Will you help me find it again?

Using a Righteous Brothers song that was used as a pick-up line in Top Gun? No! Singing it like Top Gun? An even bigger no. Don’t expect this to go well unless your target has no clue about Top Gun.

I’m glad I have my library card because I’m totally checking you out.

Think about a guy with his disco shirt unbuttoned halfway down, chest hair peaking out, or a skateboarder that isn’t too bright in an early 90s movie. Do you have the vision yet? Yeah, that’s the same one she’ll have and that’s not a positive thing guys.

For the ladies, this could work on a guy. No male ego can resist being checked out.

If women were boogers, I’d pick you first.

Does this even need a comment? No it does not.

Baby, If we came to some agreement you’d be the fine print.

It could take the object of your affections a few seconds to associate fine print with fine. Not good. You need an immediate laugh. Also, it might be a little early for “baby” unless you are at a disco in 80’s Miami.

You’re so sweet; you’re giving me a toothache.

What’s a possible response to this? “How do you know I’m sweet?” It could work after chatting for a while though.

Do you know what’s on the menu? Me ‘N’ U.

Oh, it’s so bad. Doesn’t it make your soul ache that someone might say that? Also, if you say this, how does anyone know it’s the letters N and U?

Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

One possible answer is, “That you go away, arrogant fool.” Alladin will fulfill that.

The outfit looks great on you. It’d look even better at the foot of my bed.

No! Never! If you get slapped, don’t say you weren’t warned.

You know, I’m not really this tall. I’m just sitting on my wallet.

Unless you’re short and drinking the cheapest beer in the bar, this line only says arrogant and focused on all the wrong things. Abort, abort, abort!

Well, those are just ten of the worst. Indeed, it could go on and on. We are in an era of more sincerity and value, but flattery is still effective. Maybe tone it down a bit and just say, “You’ve caught my attention and I’d love to get to know you.”